I have been completely focused on myself. I've been dedicated to the gym. I've been dedicated to my girls...going out for a good time now and then. I've been dedicated to MY happiness and I have never felt better. I finally realize that I don't hold too high of standards. I know what I want and I know what I deserve. I know I deserve what I want when it comes to a relationship.
With my 26th birthday just shy of two months away, the fact that I am still VERY single scares the living crap out of me. At least now I love myself enough not to settle and to not give in to the hype of "hooking up". I'm looking for something real. Something that will last. Something I can rely on and something I can fight for.
Three weeks ago tomorrow I was at my favorite little country bar in San Antonio watch the Spurs play in the championship with a coworker, and I saw this good looking guy. I told myself, and my coworker, that I should just go say "hi" and see what happens. I should just go up to him and start a conversation... But I didn't. I began to think to myself, "Aimee, you want a man that is going to pursue you. A man that wants you and will make it happen." So, as we cheered on the Spurs to their victory over the Miami Heat, this guy starts to make subtle comments to me. He invites us to his table to keep him and a friend company as I walk by to get another drink (of water....). As I'm coming back from the bar, I notice a couple of his female friends had sat down at the table. He looks at me and I told him it looks like he had enough company now. He laughs. I like his laugh. My coworker and I are about to leave (I tell her we must stay just for a few more moments to see if something will happen), we go sit at his table and we start talking. He's very sweet and charming. He excuses himself for a moment and we are left there, it's getting late. We decide to leave. As we are headed towards the exit, we pass him and he calls me over. He asks if we can exchange numbers so he could take me out some time. I give him my number and leave.
We start texting daily and he makes me smile. One of my best friends comes to town the following weekend and I take her to my favorite little country bar....and guess who shows up? :) My friend and I sit outside all night while he and his friends start off inside, trying to get us to join them. Eventually we win and the boys join us outside. My friend grills him and he takes it well. Lol we texted so much that weekend I'm sure I had a permanent smile.
The following week we talk about going on our first official date that he says he wants to plan. Then next day though, he doesn't answer my phone call. The day of the date, I hear nothing. I text and get no response. I'm devasted, as usual. Even though I discussed with him how guys just disappear on me. Now him too.
Last Sunday I went to my favorite little country bar, hoping he would be there. Praying for an answer. Nothing added up and I was beginning to worry about him. He is friends with the bartender so I muster up the courage and ask about him. He hadn't heard from him recently either and he'd heard he had to leave town. So, I know he's alive, but I'm still concerned.
A few days pass and I can't stop thinking about it. It's awful. I barely know him. We haven't even been on a date...and he stood me up!! Yet, I still like him. I'm worried about him. I just want to hear from him. Thursday afternoon I couldn't take it anymore. I sent him a text and told him I was concerned about him disappearing and that I really like him and hope to hear from him soon... And my heart sank. I knew without a doubt, he wouldn't respond. But he did. He sent me a text apologizing twice about everything and said a lot has happened regarding family and health. He said he wanted to talk in person about it..and hoped I was having a great day. I think I let out a small tear. He's ok at least. I haven't heard from him since, and I left him with the ball in his court. I told him to let me know when he's ready. Why? Why wasn't I my usual control freak self asking him when it will be that we talk in person? Because I've grown up, remember? I want a man to persue me. I want him to come to me when he is ready...so I know it is what HE wants. Not just what I want. It's killing me though, not knowing what happened; not knowing what's going on or when I will hear from him. My heart jumps every time my phone goes off...
I do believe he likes me. And I do believe he's a good guy...that he's different. I still have hope...
It was interesting reading this knowing how things have gone since you wrote it. The ones that actually spend time proving they're different (and not just saying they are) usually are. My fingers are crossed!
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