180 Degrees

Hello cyberworld!! 

I'm so embarrassed to just now be writing again, especially after my goal for 2016 to blog at least monthly!! SO much has happened in the past 7 months. My life has taken quite the turn, for the good!

So I last left you with my goals, hopes and dreams for 2016. First, I wanted to lose some weight. I'm proud to say I have lost some weight these past several months, I'm not so proud to say I've gained some back!! As you may or may not know, I'm not the best at getting to the gym consistently. BUT I'm still trying. I'm on my second week of a four week program and I think it's going well. I'm just taking it one day at a time!!! I'm really pushing myself to see what I can accomplish by the end of this year still. 

What about my travels you may ask? (Because I know SO many people read this and have been DYING to know!!) ;P 

Louisville was amazing. My bestie and I had an absolute blast! The city was beautiful and SO much fun to explore. We ate great food, drank some great beer and whiskey, saw some really cool places (my favorite was definitely the Louisville Slugger Museum!!) and got to spend some quality time with each other. I'm so grateful my bestie has the same travel bug as I do and that we get to explore new places together. I'm looking forward to our next adventure!! (Which just so happens to be in 1 month, 2 weeks and 6 days!!!) We get to spend a nice long weekend on Galveston island!! 

San Diego was beautiful as always. It was so great to see my aunt, uncle, cousins again. They have really grown up! The oldest graduated high school and will be starting college in a few weeks. I'm so freaking proud of her!! Seeing my grandparents and parents was really great too. Like I said before, I cherish time with them so much more now. ❤️

In January I made a commitment to myself to stop looking for love and to focus on myself. Well, before I took myself off all dating sites I sent out one last message to someone I found interesting...and we've been together ever since!!! I am so freaking happy and in love. I almost can't believe it. I never thought it was possible for me to feel this way again. B is absolutely amazing. He treats me so well and I can just feel his love for me. He has gotten to meet some friends, my cousins, my sister and her family and my parents! Everyone just loves him. He will be with me in Galveston so he can FINALLY meet my bestie! 

Some days I feel like it's not real, like it's too good to be true and I don't deserve this. I'm not sure why I feel like this. Maybe it's because it's been so long and I'd forgotten what it was like. Some days I still expect him to just disappear like all the others, but he doesn't. B is in the Air Force and I knew this going into our first date (his profile mentioned it). I honestly didn't give it much thought because I didn't see it going past the first date, it never did. But that first date was so great, we had dinner and talked for hours. I came out of that date so scared because I really liked him and I (thought) I knew what the military life was all about. I remember texting my bestie and telling her I really liked him but was scared of him being military and knowing he only had so much time left here. She told me not to think too much about that and just get to know him and enjoy myself. Our second date was even better. We went bowling, played pool and had some beers. (And had our first kiss!!) On this date he told me he didn't want to freak me out but he really liked me and hoped things got serious, but that he needed to know I was ok with moving because that's what his job (Air Force) required.

I. Was. Stunned. I had these same thoughts just days before after our first date. I told him I had already thought about it and was very ok with moving. I think he was even more stunned at my response!! I think we were both surprised at how quickly we fell for each other. On February 6, just two and a half weeks after my first message, he asked me to be his girlfriend. (Of course I said yes!!) 

Things have been a whirlwind since that day. We've spent significant time with each other's families (the little bit that I have in Texas, whereas the majority of his is here) and very few weekends apart. He has just over a year left on his contract in Texas...and has asked me to go with him wherever he goes next. As scary and exciting as it is, I've never been more sure of anything. He even asked my opinion on where we should go next. I've told him I will go anywhere with him. We've talked about me moving in (soon I hope!) and marriage. Yes, HE IS THE ONE!! We will for sure be married at some point. He hasn't officially asked and I have no ring, but marriage is in our future. Sooner if he gets orders to go overseas, which we have talked in depth about and think this is a great time for us to do it. Our top picks right now are England, Florida and Washington (which is where is brother is stationed). I told him I would be perfectly happy with any of these options. 

I never thought I could be a military spouse, never thought I was strong enough. Now looking back, I truly believe that my years of singleness and independence was preparing me for this. It was preparing me to be a strong, stable, reliable military spouse. I'm still scared to death. The thought of deployment scares the hell out of me. The thought of moving somewhere and making new friends is terrifying. But, knowing I'll be doing it with him makes me feel better. Hell, I've already relocated myself, by myself. I can do it with someone!! 

Lately all I can think about is moving and weddings and deployments. It's been so stressful. I'm losing sleep. I've been doing s lot of research and planning, which is stupid because I'm learning you can't plan very much while in the military. A HUGE struggle for me!! I've been finding military spouse/SO blogs and articles to read. I'm very new to all this so I'm trying to learn as much as I can!! My bestie is truly a godsend. She somehow keeps me sane through all this while being hundreds of miles away. B does a good job too. He just tells me it's all going to be ok and to stop worrying. I read a blog a few weeks ago by a military spouse. She wrote something that hit me hard. She wrote, "stop thinking about what's next and just enjoy right now. What's wrong with where you are right now?". So, I've been trying my best to live for the moment and enjoy this stage we are currently in. I'm trying to just enjoy the ride!!

Well, my niece is now 7 months old and cute as ever!! She's so chunky and her smile lights up the room. I absolutely adore her!! My nephew is growing like a weed and talking like a 10 year old (he is only 2.5 years old!!). He is my favorite and he adores B!! 😍 My younger sister is pregnant and due the end of September. It's been hard not to be around during her pregnancy, but my parents are flying me home to surprise her for her baby shower Labor Day weekend. I can't wait to rub her belly!!! Haha. 

Boston is about a month away and I couldn't be more excited. My friend Chloe and I are going together and have it all planned out!! I get to see my Red Sox at Fenway park against the Yankees!! I just cannot wait for this trip!! 

After Boston will be a trip back to Iowa for Thanksgiving- with B!! I'm so very excited and grateful to take him home to meet the rest of my family and friends and to show him where I'm from. It's going to be a busy, crazy week, but we will have so much fun. 

That is all for now. You are completely caught up on my life!! I WILL be back soon!!! 

Happy New Year

First of all, Happy New Year y'all!! Yes I know we are nearly two weeks into the new year, but I wanted to do a lot of reflecting and goal setting before my first blog of 2016. I've got a lot on my mind that I need to spill out into cyberspace. I will begin and end on happy notes, with the meaty goodness in between. 

First off, I've got some major goals mapped out for this year. They range from continuing my weight loss journey to saving money to traveling and even blogging! My cousin and I have teamed up to help encourage and keep each other accountable for weight loss and all around healthiness. It's great to have someone to check in with and text when my motivation is running low. It's also nice to have someone to text updates to on my progress. We've set a date of June 1st as the goal end date. My goal is to be down 27.8 pounds. I've gotten back to going to the gym regularly and even joined a new gym that offers more, like classes and tires to flip!! I'm really excited see what I can accomplish these next five months. 

I've got three big trips in the works for this year. The first will come in March when I get to meet my bestie in Louisville, KY. It is going to be so much fun to explore a new city together. Our friendship isn't like most other friendships, we live hundreds of miles away from each other so we don't get to enjoy the things most besties get to enjoy on a regular basis. We don't get to meet for happy hour, go to the movies, have a girls night in watching movies, go on a walk together or go out to dinner. I think this makes our friendship even more special because even though we don't get to do these things weekly, or even monthly, we are able to stay very connected and involved in each other's lives. Social media and technology are a godsend to long distance besties!! Anyways, I'm beyond thrilled to get to drink wine, relax, go out on the town and explore with my bestie. March can't get here fast enough!!! Oh, and I can't wait to hug her!! It really is the simple things!!

Next up: San Diego!! I will be heading off to sunny and sandy California in June to see my cousin graduate from high school. I don't get to see this branch of the family often and I'm looking forward to catching up and sharing some special moments together. Making it even better, my grandparents will also be in California for this wonderful event so I will get to spend some time with them which is rare too!! Moving away has definitely made me appreciate the time I get with family and friends. 

Last, but certainly not least: BOSTON!!! I will be taking a trip to the home of the Red Sox for my birthday September! My plan is to fulfill my bucket list item of seeing the Red Sox play the Yankees at Fenway Park. There are also so many other things I want to see and do while I am there. The area is absolutely gorgeous and there is a lot of history! I have a couple friends who have said they want to come with me, but if they can't commit when I'm buying the tickets for the game, I'm going solo!! The thought of going solo used to terrify me, but now it actually excites me!! Is it bad I'm hoping no one commits?!? If not this trip, I will definitely be taking a solo trip at some point in the near future. I think it's a great way to learn more about yourself and to test your limits. 

I'm planning on blogging at least once a month this year. I've never been good at being consistent with it so I want to try to do it more. I've even got an app on my phone to remind me to do it!!

With the new year also comes new hope for love. Well, hope for finding renewed hope in love may be more accurate. I've noticed over the past several years how bitter, angry and cynical I've become regarding love, relationships and the possibility of marriage. I've met asshole after asshole, each one truly making me feel unlovable. I've never verbalized that thought before and seeing it in black and white is hard, but it's an honest concern. The last time a man (ok he was a boy) told me he loved me I was 17.  Now I know having a mans love doesn't validate me as a woman, but as a woman who longs for a family of her own, it's a tough pill to swallow. I've taken myself off dating sites for the new year. I'm trying to focus the year on myself. I'm going to take myself on dates at least once a month. I'm going to accomplish my health goals and I'm going to travel. But it still doesn't make it any easier to have the void of a significant other in my life. How will I meet someone if I'm not putting myself out there into cyberspace? I don't know, and that's sad and scary at the same time to think online dating is my only chance at finding love. I don't know how people do anymore. I don't know where people meet. As much as I try to focus on everything else in my life, late at night I find myself thinking about love. I find myself sad and confused. So, my hope is to soften my heart and tear down some walls this year. Bitterness is not very attractive in a mate...

My happy ending for this blog is that I am writing it on the eve of my niece's birth day. That is right, tomorrow I become an auntie of two!! I'm so terribly excited and anxious to see my sweet niece's face. I don't know how I can love someone as much as my nephew, but I will certainly try! I'm sure as soon as I see her face the love will just flow out! Baby Clara- aunt Aimee is so ready to meet you! 😍 

2016 is going to be a good year, I can just feel it. I'm ready for a change inside and outside.