Why'd you have to leave?

Moving away has tons of perks.. Meeting new people, seeing the places, learning new things, trying new foods.. The list goes on and on. I was so excited to be away from everything Iowa had to offer, but I didn't really think about the people I was leaving behind. 

Leaving my dad and grandparents was so hard. I'm a daddy's girl to the core. He's my buddy. We do so much together, I didn't even stop to think of all the crazy things we would no longer get to do together. I'm also very close with my grandma, my mom's mom. I hated leaving her and I cried for a long time. It's hard to be happy about something new when you're sad about not seeing the people you're used to seeing, when you're used to seeing them... We still communicate often, it just isn't the same. 

My roommate wa probably the next hardest to leave. We became best friends and did practically everything together. I felt selfish for "ruining our plans" to be roommates for life. I felt bad leaving her behind, but then again, she didn't want to come with me. 

There were so many times as I prepared to move where I just felt awful for what I was about to do. I felt sick almost thinking about leaving these people and this life, leaving these tentative plans for things in the future. Then I had to stop and think about the only person that really matters in this scenario, myself. I was the unhappy one. I was the one looking for adventure and a new experience. So when I finally take the leap of faith to make my dreams a reality I'm going to focus on everyone around me and how sad they will be without me and how unfair it is that I'm leaving them? Hell no. It was hard to think of me and only me, but it's something I've needed to do for a very long time. This is my life, so I better make the most of it. 

Last night I was watching the movie Burlesque, where the Iowa girl moves to LA...and this conversation happens in the movie:

Ali: Jack, why did you leave Kentucky?

Jack: Well, why did you leave Iowa?

Ali: Because I looked around and realized there wasn't one person whose life I wanted. 

Jack: Exactly 

Exactly!!! I wasn't happy with where my life was going and there wasn't anyone in Iowa that made me believe that that's where it's all happening for people. 

It may have been hard to leave those I love behind, and yes I do miss them every day, but I've never been more proud of myself for what I'm trying to accomplish.