For some updates, I left the clinic and now have a new job and plans to finally go back to school...which still scares the hell out of me. I still doubt myself. But, I just finished my first month of training and things seem to be going well.
I'm getting back into a workout routine, but I still haven't mastered it yet. I need to just completely focus on it and commit 100%. I think I'm still kicking myself for falling off the wagon last time and it's hard to get back.
I hate men. I can't even get excited about a new prospect anymore. I already know how it will end. I don't even tell people I've met some either. What's the point in getting others excited? Plus, when he does disappear I have to tell everyone that yet another guy doesn't want me. It gets old and it's exhausting. I just want to be wanted and loved. I'm so tired of being alone.
Oh and yay to all those out there in love and getting engaged or married or pregnant. I'm super happy for you...
I haven't written in awhile mostly because I'm not sure what to even say anymore. Most of the time I just feel like an idiot for thinking I can have it all some day.
Icing on my awesome cake: still very much in love with my ex...
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